APH-Awesome

Gilbert tripped along awesome. He was on his way to meet his lover, Matthew, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see an awesome hopping along, carrying an awesome in it's mouth.
Gilbert was almost awesome when he came across an awesome cake, lying alone on an awesome plate. "That must be a treat from my awesome bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked awesome so he ate it.
It gave him the most awesome tingling sensation in his awesome. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Matthew.
When Matthew came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Gilbert cried awesome.
"Your awesome! And your awesome!" Matthew said. "They're awesome! Can't you feel it?"
Gilbert felt his awesome and his awesome. They were indeed quite awesome. "Oh, no!" Gilbert said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather she started to cry. "It must have been that awesome cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Matthew said. "I got you an awesome. It must have been that awesome man who lives nearby. He acts a little awesome, ever since he awesome an awesome."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Gilbert sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Matthew said awesome, "But I actually prefer women. And I think your awesome is really awesome like that."
"Really? Gilbert dried her tears. Gilbert kissed Matthew and it was an entirely awesome sensation, like awesome.
They spent the night having entirely awesome sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.